Change Your Ways!

I was sitting in a spiritual gathering. The speaker announced to conduct a small activity with closed eyes. All the attendees were asked to imagine for a while, their bad experiences in life and come up with the names of those persons who have hurt them emotionally. Everyone went shuffling through a collage of memories.


The life was passing by everyone’s eyes like a train arriving at a station. Each one of us was judging and evaluating some person by the number of bad things done by him*. We thought about mean relatives, fake friends, cunning colleagues and nasty acquaintances. A storm of bad experiences was hurling overhead. Then, suddenly, we were asked to open our eyes and were tossed back to the present. Instead of asking about the names of those people who wronged us or knowing the details of our bad experiences, we were asked to now imagine that “what if someone, just like you, was asked this very same question, and your name came into that persons’ mind”.

That sentence, the thought of it, hit me and hit me hard. May be none of us was expecting to hear this side of the story. May be none of us ever imagined ourselves in a negative role in someone else’s story. That was literally heart wrenching for me. My eyes were now brimming with tears over the sheer brutality of this thought; over the sheer ignorance of my own deeds. Do we ever consider that we might be playing a negative role in someone else’s idea of a fairy tale? We always see ourselves through the spectacles of kindness which, in most cases are biased. Also, we are living in a society, which breeds on doubt, and benefits from distrust, always question the goodness of others. What I have believed from the very beginning is that, it is possible that a person is hundred percent good, but it’s not possible that someone is hundred percent bad. We are all blessed with some spark of goodness. It’s just that we sometimes invoke some insecurities in a person which makes him opt for that defensive position.

The looming question now is how to give others’ stories a happier turn around with our presence. Kindness! has always been the answer. We all know deep in our heart that, that one particular person with the loudest laughter, the hilarious jokes and the ravishing lifestyle most certainly has or is going through some tough times in his life. So, if we all are part of this equation, why not be kind to others. Because, who knows who amongst us is going through a tough time in this very moment. What I have learnt through experience over the past years is that it’s not much difficult to think before you speak. Ponder a little and gauge that what you are about to say; is it true, is it required and above all does it hold a speck of kindness. We, in our materialistic desires of proving ourselves, keep on speaking our hearts out no matter how devastating it would be for others. No doubt, truth must be spoken. But, let not that truth destroy our personalities and others lives. Because, no matter how much you try to hide your own cruelty or others goodness if it’s there it is going to come to the surface one day or the other. Whether, you like it or not. So, let your Creator be the ultimate judge and not yourself.